I worked eight hours today and none of these people got what they wanted for christmas. WE ARE ALL THE SAME.
I got a Happy Napper and Gerbil beanie baby for Christmas. But I didn’t get the free ride through life I asked for, screw this holiday and screw my family what have they given me beside grief.
(Source: maybemfeo, via electricband)
Yes I’m on a plane yes my beard is getting too long and yes my biggest nightmare is in the seat behind me pooping and spitting. Also side note that’s one of 8 babies
I told my little brother that if he says he is going to hurt the president then I will email him and his secret service men will come to our door and blow his head off. I told him that I would cry but in the moment I would be so surprised because his head was just gone. And how funny would it be if I caught his head?! I said the secret service will have to use a sword to get that clean a cut. He responded by farting and saying “go Osama, I love Lebanon, USA USA USA!”
This is important to me.
The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began
I had a guest last night too and he was a cuddler and way too clingy. What is the deal with our pets trying to get some action, lifeisabsurd?
Just watch the news or type in Penn State on google. I thought it was normal behavior but the authorities opened my eyes to the reality. I can think of one worse thing, though, and that would be a close quarters shower with like 7 dogs
What a fun set of goals my little brother has
Christmas is ten days away but it really feels like nine. Last year for my cousins presents I had my little brother take pictures of me that I had laminated and signed by me with a little quote. Real celebrity like, and it was a hit! So I figured this year my gift to all of you would be showing all of those pictures!
Look how I gingerly press my digits on the stocking as if it was but a pregnant womans belly.d
Woah what a hearty joke I must have heard! This was the one day my mom wasn’t home to dress me!
Sweet Moses! First my tea is too small and now this christmas book has become rife with vulgarity! I know I look headed and that is because I was doing my workout on that ball over there.
Lunch anyone? You know what they say about men who can’t cook…
I love my dogs so much. Look at me and tell me that I am not an animal lover. On a sadder note, I had to pay my dog to pose with me. She also wanted to sign a consent form.
This is my little brother, he thought he was being funny taking a picture of himself but the real joke is his side hairlip, THANKS GENETICS!
The one on the left is my brother Stevie and the one to the right is me. As you can see we are quite the pair and our mom ruined a perfectly good game of drug my brother and pretend everything is ok. At this point he couldn’t feel his cheek.
Good news you can impress your girlfriend and turn her into not your girlfriend by buying the Edward hair straightener for men! There are woman versions too but if I’ve learned anything this Christmas season it is that women don’t like 20 dollar hair straightners
