A Sensual Cruise Through the Mind of Me

Can’t We Have Both?

For those of you that don’t know, I am a libertarian and I have been trying for the life of me to figure out who to vote for. First off, I’ve never voted, but secondly, neither of the candidates appeal to me. I don’t like Mitt because he is too flip floppy, but so is President Obama. Mitt wants to cut spending but he also wants to ban gay marriage. Obama doesn’t mind gay marriage but he won’t cut spending (or at least not as much as I like). The list goes on and on and so did the search for a candidate. Ron Paul has been on my radar but I don’t want to write in a candidate although he is a fantastic man.

It wasn’t until tonight that I found out about a man named Gary Johnson. He is a libertarian and according to the news, was just elected as the party leader. His big things are that he already has a plan in place to cut spending, since he did that so much while he was governor. He wants to legalize marijuana which is amazing because while I don’t smoke, I think that’s a great way to prevent crime and to help our economy, and so does he. He thinks that anyone should be able to get married and his stance on abortion is that it is up to the people. His main jib, along with libertarians, is the the government needs to stay out of the way. It needs to focus on the big issues like crime and not the little ones like marriage.

What annoys me is that no one seems to see this side. Everyone has to have it black or white and no one seems to want it grey. Republicans are good for the economy but bad for personal freedom (although they pledge to be all for that sort of stuff when it comes to guns, land, ect). And Democrats are good for personal freedom but bad for government because they think everyone needs to be taken care of. Why can’t we have both? No Gary Johnson will not win but how cool would it be if he did. A lot of things would get better, but people are too hung up on proving their points to other people who want to prove the opposite point. Gary, Libertarians, and myself are here to prove both points can co-exist.

Here is his site: http://www.garyjohnson2012.com/front

Choose Wisely

On my campus someone is writing “Smile, Your Mom Chose Life” in chalk and on one particular one someone crossed out “Chose” and wrote “had the right to chose”. I laughed because both of those people used the same words and it bothers me that people get so heated about others affairs. It should not matter to you what everyone else is doing with their personal life and many people don’t agree with me because they have somehow found it conducive to make others do what they see is right, or in most cases, what someone else told that person was right. Many times that stems from parents or religion but that is not the point. The point is, no one should be forced to do anything they are not comfortable with. I am not a fan of abortion but at the same time I have never been(thank God) in a situation where I had to decide. If I ever had to be in one, though, I would like to be able to make the decision based on what I believe in, not what someone else tells me to do.

So when someone tells you to smile because your mom chose life you can say one of these things to them(if you even care)

• My mom wanted to have a child so she didn’t chose life, she chose to bang my dad
• My mom had the ability to chose life, she could have said no and then I wouldn’t be here listening to you throw up on me
• (or in 10 years if enough people think this should be a law you can say) My mom didn’t chose to have me she was forced to have me by your grandparents.

I am not trying to get anyone angry and if you are angry then I am not sorry, you probably have anger issues, but this is a serious issue that is not going to go away. Most moms thank whoever it is they worship everyday because of their children and that is wonderful, I am glad they kept their baby but I am more glad that they had some say in it even though the thought of abortion never even crossed their mind because they wanted a baby.

So maybe if you see that chalk outside of your building, perhaps change it from “Smile, Your Mom Chose Life” to “Smile, Your Mom Had to Chose Life”, or “Smile, the Government is your new set of parents” or just don’t do anything and quit trying to cause a ruckus.

What are Gangsters Texting?

Have you sat awake in bed wondering how gangsters communicate? They are just humans so it is logical that they would text, like us. Now, their texts are much more dire and dangerous than ours but that is what makes studying their culture so interesting. Let’s have a look.

Here are some things that a normal gangster would text to perhaps another gangster or his boss:

• Hey where r we meeting 2nite lol?
• Hey my gurlfriend keeps asking me what I am doing at nite lol
• Lol was I supposed 2 kill that guy?
• Next time can we please coordinate when we r getting group gang tats cause I missed out this time :/
• Do u think da boss is mad at me cause I screwed up that drug deal?
• Do u ever wish we went to college? Even vacational skool?
• I guess I have to kill my dad to become the leader so I think I’m gunna do it lol.
• Wanna come to church with me to worship?

Here are some things that a gang leader might text to other leaders or to lower members:

• I need u 2 kill that guy
• When r we setting up that pancake breakfast with the other gang?
• My gurlfriend thinks u killed her bro but I coverd for u. I said it was our rival LOL!
• Hey I’m getting addicted to Pinterest
• I need 3 of you to help me count all the cocaine this weekend.
• Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to wear gangster clothing, I kind of want a snuggie :P lol
• Remember to wear ur headband 2 inches above your brow, none of this 3 inch nonsense we are not some sloppy gang
• Make sure you are all going to church, I want to see you there…GOD IS GOOD!

The Serial Killer Test

Have you ever wondered if you are a serial killer? Take this test!

• Do you eat your meals alone in your room?
• Do you have the urge to kill?
• Have you acted on that urge?
• More than once?
• What was the time between your first kill and your second kill?
• When you eat alone in your room do you think about your kills or do you plan your new kills?
• Do you have a few good friends or a lot of acquaintances who you have killed?
• When you think about your family, did they make you eat alone in your room when you were young?
• Can you count your kills on your fingers or do you have to use your toes?
• Do you have so many kills that you have to use the chicken fingers you just heated up to eat in your room to help you count?
• Do you plan on getting married and if so, will she cook your meals in your room or is she already dead?
• Have you ever been so scared of eating with people that you will intentionally eat alone in your room?
• When you think about human interaction, is the first thing you think of the act of you eating a pizza in your room staring blankly at a wall?
• Could you get into an argument about Banquet vs. Lean Cuisine that might end in you murdering?
• When you go to the pet store. Do you see a bunch of meals or do you see a bunch of potential kills?

If you answered any of these questions you might be a serial killer. If you think you are, email me, I’m just hanging in my room eating a microwave meal alone.

What I Love

I was asked to do an event for the business school I attend and my job was to talk to all these prospective students and their parents about what the college has done for me. These kids already had been accepted into the school but were either wanting some invigoration or perhaps deciding between a few schools. I was there all day and it felt like 15 minutes. That’s how I knew I am doing what I love. I am a management major and my goal is to be able to motivate employees to work to their strengths and love their job and this was in that ball park. I was motivating these students to get excited about the rest of their life or motivating them to come here. I had such a feeling inside me that I know this is my calling. Yes I will be working the comedy into it, because no one likes a boring manager but at the end of the day I want to be able to see an employee who hates his job and turn him or her into someone who wants to stay late. At the end of the event, some of the faculty asked if I could come to more of these events since everyone enjoyed me so much. I also had students tell me that they were going to chose this school because of me. This must be the same feeling a budding stand up comic like @tracy_marq has been talking about. It is a high that I will never come down from. I hope all of you have found something you are passionate about or something that you can put your passions towards.